Twenty-Zero-Six

What's in a year? Why does the counting of the planet's orbital movement in any way affect your life? I'll tell you why. It's because we need an excuse. We always do. To question why is only to give way for another excuse. You're probably asking why? why? and why? to many of your problems. You already know the solution. You already know the outcome. However, initiative is one tricky entity. It needs excuses. Without an excuse to do something, nothing gets done. I'm not implicating that everyone needs excuses to get things done. Most of the time it's money that gets things done. But for all those other times, it's safe to say that excuses has had it's fair share of initiative er..initiation. The lesson of the story? Well, stop using excuses to fuel initiation. Take initiative for no reason at all. Do it because you can, not because you want to. And with that, suddenly you become your own. You discover a world that is the choice of champions. The world that is the masterful surprise.

I've often quoted that this world is made up to three types of people: Those who watch, those who do, and those who do well. This is particularly true, and as aspirations are very much different to commitment and success, to that they might be more difficult to achieve. But hey, this isn't mission difficult, it's mission impossible, difficult should be a walk in the park for you. (Sorry, even the forces that are TMS couldn't stop that line--Ed.)

And back to the totally contradictary nature of this blog, where we often say one thing, and do another: this post itself was an excuse to post the lovely Keira Knightley pic above. We want to wake up to her tomorrow morning. Oh how we do.

Orido MAX Style

This is Manabu "Maximum" Orido, and he is a japanese man. He drifts cars really well. His style is taking it to the max.

YOUR LIFE!

DO IT MAXIMUM STYLE!

Life in Pictures

Often, we have this romantic link to a certain concept to life, one that we see as perfection. A life in a picture. The picture on the left is not really my ideal life, but it comes close. This is a picture painted by some marketing department to shout in your ear and say "hey you! get a PS2! look at the life you can have!", and to be fair, some people do indeed have such a perfect looking life. I've seen it, felt it, but have never lived it fully and that is why I keep chasing the life in pictures. My pictures.

It's true. You never know what you can lose until you've had it.

The Masterful Art Collection

Here it is! In all it's glory the first limited piece of the Masterful Art Collection, entitled "Flight of The Cock", a contemporary art piece that is, and will always remain a true classic; simply because unlike some other art pieces that just sits there and does nothing, this one does it stylishly, and more importantly, masterfully. Our resident TMS contributor Randy Andy was spotted grabbing his crotch every time he passed by the art piece. When asked why he only muttered something about it being "powerful yet so sexy" before running off to the washroom with a box of tissues. The piece represents today's lifestyle, the end of monogamy and keen female art enthusiasts are bound to find more uninterpreted new meaning simply by staring at it when not wearing underwear. Kids can also spend hours on end laughing at the giant cock while entertaining themselves to a simple maze game also included in the piece.

Limited to 3 worldwide.

Bids start at $25,000. Contact TMS offices to get hold of a chance to own one.

YUI Are My Number 1!

It is day four of 2006 and nothing feels remotely noveau. Nothing feels like a big different year. It's 2006, that's six years since the y2k scam, a time where the generation X fad has become so passe. And that says something. This year (as was last year actually) is actually nothing new. What was new has become everyday life. And what is everyday life is the same. The question we need be answered is this : do we really need change? I've heard that change is good, it brings new concepts and ideas together and that in turn brings nice new things to your life. However, I've also heard that familiarity breeds content. Content? I think more like contentment. We get used to things we're familiar with, we get comfortable. Changes are high risk manouevers that we may not all be prepared for at all times. But it is in that non-preparation that we learn. The human race is not really a race at all. It's a confused gene-pool of evolution that doesn't know where it's heading and more importantly; it doesn't know why. This explains why people often question their purpose in life. I was posed such a question at a forum the other day, and interestingly enough, the answer came rather easily. My purpose in life is current. And in that purpose is to listen to this really awesome single by YUI, who happens to be really cute as well. Oh how I love her life video. Makes me melt.

New year. New philosophy. In girl we thrust.

The Masterful Ingredients

How to make a the masterful surprise:
3 parts anger
5 parts brilliance
1 part joy
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add fitness to taste!
Do not overindulge!
Use as you see fit.lovely.girls.

Neu New Noveau

Another new year is just very literally around the corner, and all the resolutions are flooding through the..er..flood gates like a monkey on heat. This year the resolutions have come in early, with crazy active lifestyles and the cigarette quit more imminent.Ar, such a lazy Friday here at work. The iPOD is out of battery (hence charging) and the woman who plays MixFM is on leave, so that leaves no music but aircond noise and muffled traffic. 3 more hours to go; till I can go home and sleep (maybe) and look at my sexy pretty Talho. And maybe eat. AAr. Me be off now. Got some white ninja to read up on.

Sarah Carter makes me so hot.

Dip Them Lights Down Low

Xmas is now. It's here. It's inevitable. It's a merry one. Though not as merry as I'd expect. I'm here sat down typing this (yet again) listening to Home Made Kazoku's Shounen Heart, waiting and pondering over xmassy lunch plans, glancing at the nirvash typeZERO and maybe wondering about Talho's immensely interesting but perfectly formed breasts. This is the time for reflection, much like a mirror; but not on physical objects, instead on the outcome of the year. It's been one, weird but very very different year. 2005. It's been a year of hopes and dreams coming true as well as a year of re-positioning and rearrangement of priorities. However, as with every year, there are countless things that have turned out not as they should. But those were pretty much expected. Well, as of now, it seems that there is a very big difference in perception from the beginning of the year in almost every aspect of life with the exception of my rather excessive addiction to pretty girls.

Let them good times roll.

Wet Leather

It's 5:44pm on a Friday. Eve before the eve of Xmas. I'm surrounded by toys though, as the ones I ordered a week ago finally arrived an hour ago (sorry Theo) and the sky outside is so glum I can almost imagine the flying demons in the rain. Or Kate Beckinsale. Oh how I love her. What interests me is that when I sit here in the office, I tend to have this really horny mindset. And a boosted imagination to boot. Weird. Damn I can't stop thinking about tight asses and tender tits. In wet leather. Better leave before I do the pony.

Pointless Pondering

Admittedly, it's been a while since our last update as I've been pretty (preoccupied that is) with events that suddenly pop out of nowhere. Maybe it's the festivities normally associated with this time of the year. But I think maybe not. Whatever the reason (and the reason's not you), that reason is irrelevant anyway. Pointless as well. Here I am, sat in front of my office workstation (with nothing to do at the moment due to a sudden halt in all proposed workloads) listening to Ashlee Simpson's Autobiography on my shuffle which might or might not be sold off in the next few days. But I fear to think what my days here would be like without music. My music that is. We've got Mix FM on pretty much 9-5 which really doesn't play Boyfriend or something, though I've heard Julio Iglesias's Moonlight Lady one too many times. So there. Xmas is around the corner again, and while I don't share the same enthusiasm as last year, I do feel more like doing the xmas thing. Y'know, get a tree and roast reindeer. Or something. However, at the end of it all, the fact remains that xmas is only five days away, and that's another five from new year's day, also a song by U2. The point being, which one do you look forward to? Reindeer or 2006? Elves or Fireworks? I know what I did the past few new year's. Absolutely nothing. And for some reason, I think it's going to be the same this year. And I don't really care.

Oh yeah as usual, any lovely girl that wants to get some tis' season in style can contact The Masterful Surprise team at the usual address and we'll just come right on over.

Bite your hat girl. Mmm. You look so naughty.

Shallow Waters

What is it about being shallow that makes it bad? In fact, what is so wrong about liking good design? In essence, I believe that is all it really is, an appreciation of good design over trivial values such as personality. Right about now, I can just almost hear all those girl readers starting a riot and shouting about how girls or women should never be treated as objects. But really, who are you trying to kid? I have yet to meet one girl that hasn't put good looks or even objects above personality at any point of their relationship. Because, in the end, it is the very first step of attraction. But. Hear me out. Good looks are very subjective. Some people like a monkey looking girlfriend. Others don't. I'm not saying personality doesn't help in any relationship. I just believe it takes a back seat to a hot/sweet/gorgeous piece of ass. And by that I mean face (although to some people translate that in measurements of tits, body curvature and some just plain ass). And then theres always that small literal piece of fact that will back me in my fight for shallow-ity. Everyone, no I mean everything is an object. We live in a dimension/world/space where everything is an object to begin with. And that means you and I are entities of physical attributes. So. Being treated as an object isn't harsh because that's what you are to begin with. Ok. ok. Look at it this way, would you spend your good, hard earned cash on an ugly car/bag? Probably not. People are only limited to attaining certain objects because of ability. Or simply because they have very different taste. I do believe that if you spend enough time with a certain someone/something you can learn to like/love it but to a certain degree, it would only mean you've gotten used to it/her/him. Why bother to do this when your choices are limitless? So. In the end I say this. You only say that you appreciate personality over a beautiful girl because you a) have bad taste b) your tolerance to bad design is higher that normal and/or you have some sort of personality/practicality fetish c) your obtaining abilities are limited d) you are shrouded by that feeling called temporary insanity (also known as love in some social circles) e) you have gotten used to bad design.

So there.

THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.

A Little Less Conversation

Doesn't really work; you need both. And intrestingly enough, as expected, sociality is not such a hard thing to accomplish, given the right circumstances. Rule number one is to derail all the setbacks in your mind. Kill the awkwardness and be comfortable with any given situation, and yet practice to keep the ball rolling.

Because when the ball is rolling, Indy will run.

Pointless. But to the correct channels, it makes perfect sense.

When All Is Lost

What do you do when you fight for something you have believed all your life and come to the realisation that that something might have been wrong? What if the answer was there all along? What if it was all staged? What if?

There might have been a serious error in judgement. There might have been that one case where I could've been wrong. There might.

Evidence is not necessarily the truth. Because evidence is always based on a scope of findings. And when the scope's range changes, initial evidence becomes inaccurate.

Therefore, all is lost.

You start with one.

The Real Sixth Sense

Are emotions a physical attribute? Compassion, hurt, misery and attraction are initially mental elements, but how about that feeling you get every time a girl whispers that she loves you in the ear? That feeling deep down in the middle, fuzzy and nostalgic perhaps, yet so plush and warm. The feeling is physical, no? It cannot be fully explained as to what a feeling feeling is or where it comes from. So. To feel feelings. The point of this all? That's our true sixth physical sense. Move ESP on to the seventh.

THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE

The Masterful Honor

The Masterful Surprise has been honored the Honorary Humanatarian Award for it's efforts in helping change society's mental perception and beliefs and in aiding people of mixed-ethnic origins single out insanely pretty girls (or IPG in abbrievation) as well as making the world a better place to live in with tireless amounts of effort in promoting the "would you do a.." questions.

Presenting the award on behalf of le' societie le' awardes is Dr. Dick Harding, grandson of world reknowned Professor F. Harding from whom the award's name lends. Recieving the award on behalf of The Masterful Surprise was our own Randy Andy, author of My Homemade List of Sexual Objects And Then Some. During the award ceremony held in Paris, Andy made a masterful speech about his dream the other day, something about coming to (or more likely, on) Paris and how the award made him want to come even more. He also commented publicly about how the French are all wankers and how the Eiffel tower is actually the erect, steel cock of France.

Dr. Dick Harding later commented (that)"The masterful surprise, as a publication and a phenomenon, is pure genius, and should deserve more than a simple award for it's efforts. It should deserve a beautiful, naked, Jessica Alba." right before escorted off stage by security for being a "bit" tipsy.

Another year, another award eh?

THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.

Blurring The Lines

Often it can be said that reality is mirrored in different ways. Digitally, and to certain aspects, virtual. While most of the time, these representations aren't flawed so we can tell the difference between what's real and what's not, the question is whether that's such a bad thing. Living in the real world, you can't help but realise that flaws are what make the world interesting at times, and yet sometimes very annoying. Perfection is never perfect enough in the real world. And the worst part is, to upkeep perfection it is very cost/time consuming and you'll never have a perfect something forever. However, a virtual representation is always accurate, perfect and is easily replicated. One day, when our dreams and visual/physical perception can be controlled and altered at will in a virtual perfect landscape, the question is whether you'd want to live in the flawed world where the ugly truth runs rampant. I really question that. The matrix is a good representation of the concept in question, but their world isn't perfect either. What I'm talking about here is perfect video game standard worlds, where everyone is hot, all the things are perfect, and living a dream. You could eat all the food in the world and not get fat/sick, you could drive like a mad fool in a sexy car and not die/get caught. The perfect life. And everybody could get one. In that instance I predict a fall in today's issues and a near zero global productivity rating. If that is a problem to begin with anyway. Why does the world need to progress beyond that dream once it is attained? If you can live in a world set by you where everything you want can/will happen, has no effects on other individuals, and seems so real to you that you wouldn't know the difference. It will be the ultimate life where every aspiration is answered without physics, luck or skill. The masterful life.

WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY. THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.

The Spirit Of Competition

Competition is healthy. In motorsport, in the advancement of human technology; it would seem that competition in all fields of development is healthy. Social competition however, is not quite. People strive to outdo, without improving who or what they are. Because in the end, if the person is the same on the inside, there is no practical use to the application, so to speak.

Competition breeds competition.

In the end it is human nature to compete and contrast. Each of our 5 senses are there to tell us the differences. So here's something for you all to think about. We are built to tell differences every single day. But only a select few of us actually make a difference.

And by the way, being different is not making any difference at all.

What Is Your Ultimate 5 Car Garage?

I know what mine would be.

Pointless Posting II

THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.

My First Blue Crush

So tasty is the Kate Bosworth. So utterly tasty like monkeys. I like the little banana boat song. How do we feather her tanned skin? How can we accomodate her lovely blonde hair? Maybe the giraffe will know. The long-tongued giraffe. With the furry hair on top. HaHa. If I were Kate I'd dump that bloody Bloom Dude and get with the J.

If I were randy I'd be Andy. Randy Andy boss.
Randy Andy.


THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.