Thursday in September

It's 12:25am in the morning, so it's technically Friday. But I'm typing about Thursday. Thursday was a slow, lazy day. It was fun at the start. I slept at six looking for media on that pretty pretty Marié Digby. It's rather amusing how one youtube video can change your life (hers, not mine). Either ways, that's how it began. I went to sleep at six wildly tired, and woke up at 1pm-ish. Should have been sufficient, but I had like 5 hours from the night before, and that made things.....difficult. Anyway, I woke up at 1pm eyes feeling weird, brain feeling weird; just feeling weird overall; an urban headache that really isn't a headache. It made my day just lying down on the couch trying to dream. Trying to reach out. Trying to make my day work. But no. It didn't happen. Until now. I feel like the day's gone, but to badly quote Metallica, the memory remains.

Either ways, I'm off to watch Stranger Than Fiction, and hoping to enjoy the couch after that. Maybe tomorrow will be lovelier.

Chase The Dream.

Well it's another season of Entourage, and it's been good. Seriously, where is that lifestyle? Is it in hiding? Does it even exist? That really gets to me. Whether it really exists. Because if it does , then I can rest easy.
I mean logic would tell me, that if someone can dream it, and produce a visual representation of it, then someone somewhere is living it. Most of us dare not dream or see what we really want to dream simply because a stark comparison to what reality serves up to us, and that just basically scares us. Dismissing 'the life' as a goal, but not a realistic one.

I ask why. I ask how. I will not be scared to dream it, and compare it with reality. I will not be disappointed to find that it does not exist. Because I have seen glimpses of it; but never the full picture. Sometimes I wonder why society binds the majority to difficult situations that breeds counter-acts to this sort of behaviour. Because in the end, it is unmistakable that the reality of it all is the dream. And that dream really is nothing more than a collective state of mind. Materialism exists, no doubt; but the road to the dream lies in the mind, nothing more; definitely nothing less.

People are always dreaming because they can't find their invisible bridges to make them a reality.

I say let's start building them now.

Reorganizing Priorities

It's really quite fascinating how much one's life revolves around computers, and even more fascinating what a lack of internet connection can do to someone. By someone I mean me. Ever since the laptop suddenly called it quits last Thursday; I've been whining on and on about it, not necessarily as much as I had hoped for; but what surprised me the most was my ignorance on the night of the disaster, and the events (sorry, emotions) that preceded thereafter the very next day. It's odd that I would have been so accepting of the event when the laptop just didn't want to boot, sure there were things that went through my head like "how am I going to do my summaries now?" or "how am I going to complete my video assignment?", and although the solution is clear: that I use the computer outside, it was the start of something that I had not expected; something I'd like to call the privacy barrier, or lack thereof. I had not noticed as much before, but my laptop was all I had as my internet gateway. It was my private connection with my online persona, and it had gone. It's interesting how one can suddenly feel a void, a gaping hole in one's timetable; an amount of time suddenly freed that just left me lost. It's not as serious as I make it seem, but as usual, I like the drama of it all. The point is, it's really the reason a personal computer is called personal is that it does get personal. At the beginning, I felt that this was a good opportunity to not go crazy, but actually live life like everyone else; and to spend more time on social activities instead of wondering how well vista would suit the big picture. So it seemed. I ended up reverting to my old habits (they die hard, with a vengeance) and not only did I feel that it wasn't private anymore, it wasn't comfortable at all. In a way it has opened my eyes to new horizons on psychoanalyzing myself in understanding the cause and effect of the sudden loss of personal, or private space. The guinea pig being myself, it was easy to see that I obviously did the human thing and started colonizing the computer outside, the very one I'm typing on. It started with simple personalization and moved on to settings and ultimately getting comfortable with the UI. This is where the problem begins. I am not the only user on this system, and this leads to security issues, being the very insecure paranoid user that I am. Either way, it's been a good three days on this computer, and even though I am getting more comfortable with it; it still seems all the rather public. I suppose it's all a sort of training and good realization that things can just escape us without warning, and it is not how fast we adapt that makes or breaks us, but how often.