The Masterful Ingredients

How to make a the masterful surprise:
3 parts anger
5 parts brilliance
1 part joy
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add fitness to taste!
Do not overindulge!
Use as you see fit.lovely.girls.

Neu New Noveau

Another new year is just very literally around the corner, and all the resolutions are flooding through the..er..flood gates like a monkey on heat. This year the resolutions have come in early, with crazy active lifestyles and the cigarette quit more imminent.Ar, such a lazy Friday here at work. The iPOD is out of battery (hence charging) and the woman who plays MixFM is on leave, so that leaves no music but aircond noise and muffled traffic. 3 more hours to go; till I can go home and sleep (maybe) and look at my sexy pretty Talho. And maybe eat. AAr. Me be off now. Got some white ninja to read up on.

Sarah Carter makes me so hot.

Dip Them Lights Down Low

Xmas is now. It's here. It's inevitable. It's a merry one. Though not as merry as I'd expect. I'm here sat down typing this (yet again) listening to Home Made Kazoku's Shounen Heart, waiting and pondering over xmassy lunch plans, glancing at the nirvash typeZERO and maybe wondering about Talho's immensely interesting but perfectly formed breasts. This is the time for reflection, much like a mirror; but not on physical objects, instead on the outcome of the year. It's been one, weird but very very different year. 2005. It's been a year of hopes and dreams coming true as well as a year of re-positioning and rearrangement of priorities. However, as with every year, there are countless things that have turned out not as they should. But those were pretty much expected. Well, as of now, it seems that there is a very big difference in perception from the beginning of the year in almost every aspect of life with the exception of my rather excessive addiction to pretty girls.

Let them good times roll.

Wet Leather

It's 5:44pm on a Friday. Eve before the eve of Xmas. I'm surrounded by toys though, as the ones I ordered a week ago finally arrived an hour ago (sorry Theo) and the sky outside is so glum I can almost imagine the flying demons in the rain. Or Kate Beckinsale. Oh how I love her. What interests me is that when I sit here in the office, I tend to have this really horny mindset. And a boosted imagination to boot. Weird. Damn I can't stop thinking about tight asses and tender tits. In wet leather. Better leave before I do the pony.

Pointless Pondering

Admittedly, it's been a while since our last update as I've been pretty (preoccupied that is) with events that suddenly pop out of nowhere. Maybe it's the festivities normally associated with this time of the year. But I think maybe not. Whatever the reason (and the reason's not you), that reason is irrelevant anyway. Pointless as well. Here I am, sat in front of my office workstation (with nothing to do at the moment due to a sudden halt in all proposed workloads) listening to Ashlee Simpson's Autobiography on my shuffle which might or might not be sold off in the next few days. But I fear to think what my days here would be like without music. My music that is. We've got Mix FM on pretty much 9-5 which really doesn't play Boyfriend or something, though I've heard Julio Iglesias's Moonlight Lady one too many times. So there. Xmas is around the corner again, and while I don't share the same enthusiasm as last year, I do feel more like doing the xmas thing. Y'know, get a tree and roast reindeer. Or something. However, at the end of it all, the fact remains that xmas is only five days away, and that's another five from new year's day, also a song by U2. The point being, which one do you look forward to? Reindeer or 2006? Elves or Fireworks? I know what I did the past few new year's. Absolutely nothing. And for some reason, I think it's going to be the same this year. And I don't really care.

Oh yeah as usual, any lovely girl that wants to get some tis' season in style can contact The Masterful Surprise team at the usual address and we'll just come right on over.

Bite your hat girl. Mmm. You look so naughty.

Shallow Waters

What is it about being shallow that makes it bad? In fact, what is so wrong about liking good design? In essence, I believe that is all it really is, an appreciation of good design over trivial values such as personality. Right about now, I can just almost hear all those girl readers starting a riot and shouting about how girls or women should never be treated as objects. But really, who are you trying to kid? I have yet to meet one girl that hasn't put good looks or even objects above personality at any point of their relationship. Because, in the end, it is the very first step of attraction. But. Hear me out. Good looks are very subjective. Some people like a monkey looking girlfriend. Others don't. I'm not saying personality doesn't help in any relationship. I just believe it takes a back seat to a hot/sweet/gorgeous piece of ass. And by that I mean face (although to some people translate that in measurements of tits, body curvature and some just plain ass). And then theres always that small literal piece of fact that will back me in my fight for shallow-ity. Everyone, no I mean everything is an object. We live in a dimension/world/space where everything is an object to begin with. And that means you and I are entities of physical attributes. So. Being treated as an object isn't harsh because that's what you are to begin with. Ok. ok. Look at it this way, would you spend your good, hard earned cash on an ugly car/bag? Probably not. People are only limited to attaining certain objects because of ability. Or simply because they have very different taste. I do believe that if you spend enough time with a certain someone/something you can learn to like/love it but to a certain degree, it would only mean you've gotten used to it/her/him. Why bother to do this when your choices are limitless? So. In the end I say this. You only say that you appreciate personality over a beautiful girl because you a) have bad taste b) your tolerance to bad design is higher that normal and/or you have some sort of personality/practicality fetish c) your obtaining abilities are limited d) you are shrouded by that feeling called temporary insanity (also known as love in some social circles) e) you have gotten used to bad design.

So there.

THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.

A Little Less Conversation

Doesn't really work; you need both. And intrestingly enough, as expected, sociality is not such a hard thing to accomplish, given the right circumstances. Rule number one is to derail all the setbacks in your mind. Kill the awkwardness and be comfortable with any given situation, and yet practice to keep the ball rolling.

Because when the ball is rolling, Indy will run.

Pointless. But to the correct channels, it makes perfect sense.

When All Is Lost

What do you do when you fight for something you have believed all your life and come to the realisation that that something might have been wrong? What if the answer was there all along? What if it was all staged? What if?

There might have been a serious error in judgement. There might have been that one case where I could've been wrong. There might.

Evidence is not necessarily the truth. Because evidence is always based on a scope of findings. And when the scope's range changes, initial evidence becomes inaccurate.

Therefore, all is lost.

You start with one.

The Real Sixth Sense

Are emotions a physical attribute? Compassion, hurt, misery and attraction are initially mental elements, but how about that feeling you get every time a girl whispers that she loves you in the ear? That feeling deep down in the middle, fuzzy and nostalgic perhaps, yet so plush and warm. The feeling is physical, no? It cannot be fully explained as to what a feeling feeling is or where it comes from. So. To feel feelings. The point of this all? That's our true sixth physical sense. Move ESP on to the seventh.

THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE

The Masterful Honor

The Masterful Surprise has been honored the Honorary Humanatarian Award for it's efforts in helping change society's mental perception and beliefs and in aiding people of mixed-ethnic origins single out insanely pretty girls (or IPG in abbrievation) as well as making the world a better place to live in with tireless amounts of effort in promoting the "would you do a.." questions.

Presenting the award on behalf of le' societie le' awardes is Dr. Dick Harding, grandson of world reknowned Professor F. Harding from whom the award's name lends. Recieving the award on behalf of The Masterful Surprise was our own Randy Andy, author of My Homemade List of Sexual Objects And Then Some. During the award ceremony held in Paris, Andy made a masterful speech about his dream the other day, something about coming to (or more likely, on) Paris and how the award made him want to come even more. He also commented publicly about how the French are all wankers and how the Eiffel tower is actually the erect, steel cock of France.

Dr. Dick Harding later commented (that)"The masterful surprise, as a publication and a phenomenon, is pure genius, and should deserve more than a simple award for it's efforts. It should deserve a beautiful, naked, Jessica Alba." right before escorted off stage by security for being a "bit" tipsy.

Another year, another award eh?

THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.

Blurring The Lines

Often it can be said that reality is mirrored in different ways. Digitally, and to certain aspects, virtual. While most of the time, these representations aren't flawed so we can tell the difference between what's real and what's not, the question is whether that's such a bad thing. Living in the real world, you can't help but realise that flaws are what make the world interesting at times, and yet sometimes very annoying. Perfection is never perfect enough in the real world. And the worst part is, to upkeep perfection it is very cost/time consuming and you'll never have a perfect something forever. However, a virtual representation is always accurate, perfect and is easily replicated. One day, when our dreams and visual/physical perception can be controlled and altered at will in a virtual perfect landscape, the question is whether you'd want to live in the flawed world where the ugly truth runs rampant. I really question that. The matrix is a good representation of the concept in question, but their world isn't perfect either. What I'm talking about here is perfect video game standard worlds, where everyone is hot, all the things are perfect, and living a dream. You could eat all the food in the world and not get fat/sick, you could drive like a mad fool in a sexy car and not die/get caught. The perfect life. And everybody could get one. In that instance I predict a fall in today's issues and a near zero global productivity rating. If that is a problem to begin with anyway. Why does the world need to progress beyond that dream once it is attained? If you can live in a world set by you where everything you want can/will happen, has no effects on other individuals, and seems so real to you that you wouldn't know the difference. It will be the ultimate life where every aspiration is answered without physics, luck or skill. The masterful life.

WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY. THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.

The Spirit Of Competition

Competition is healthy. In motorsport, in the advancement of human technology; it would seem that competition in all fields of development is healthy. Social competition however, is not quite. People strive to outdo, without improving who or what they are. Because in the end, if the person is the same on the inside, there is no practical use to the application, so to speak.

Competition breeds competition.

In the end it is human nature to compete and contrast. Each of our 5 senses are there to tell us the differences. So here's something for you all to think about. We are built to tell differences every single day. But only a select few of us actually make a difference.

And by the way, being different is not making any difference at all.

What Is Your Ultimate 5 Car Garage?

I know what mine would be.

Pointless Posting II

THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.

My First Blue Crush

So tasty is the Kate Bosworth. So utterly tasty like monkeys. I like the little banana boat song. How do we feather her tanned skin? How can we accomodate her lovely blonde hair? Maybe the giraffe will know. The long-tongued giraffe. With the furry hair on top. HaHa. If I were Kate I'd dump that bloody Bloom Dude and get with the J.

If I were randy I'd be Andy. Randy Andy boss.
Randy Andy.


THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.

Exploring New Horizons

Tough crowd. The bartender looks to the left of his prematurely adolescent audience and gives another crack at one of his countless bar-room jokes. To no avail. The crowd isn't pleased. Nor even the slightest bit amused. The bartender eyes the paying customers, making a mental note of their every gesture, a soft whiff of inability. Return to silence. The madness. The rotoscoping darkness. Only there does he see the point of it all.

Only then does he see the masterful surprise.

"Given the concept of stage, man meets evolution." - The Chronicles Of The Masterful Surprise.

The Paradigm Is On To Us.

A shift is imminent. Join it with open arms. It's easy when you're all for it.

The Billa Bong

Accidentally watched Blue Crush (finally) after years of thinking of watching it. Now while oogling over Kate Bosworth is a totally tantalizing prospect, I can't help but dreaming about her nice, toned stomach. I know this is an issue as the last time I was obsessed (still am) with Jennifer Aniston's hair color it turned out to be some obsessive dirty-blonde syndrome. And then some. While the usual after-movie effects are faintly there, the reality is that I can't surf nor are there any good waves to surf on in this country-ish thingy. So I've gone all semi-funny funky. This is probably my last night 3 hour sleep only talking, but the point in fact is that oy oy oy.

And as some sort of update, I can't stop thinking of the corpse bride's breasts. Bluey. Really cleavagey.

Pointless perhaps.

I'm on drawing the line. Straight across. This is it. Vantage point: zero.

"Deep inside your soul is a hole you don't want to see"

When all in the world starts to not make any sense is when you make sense of it all. Geez. Was it always this simple? Why has the shrouded shroud over your eyes shrouded you? Question perhaps best answered simply: a shroud is a shroud. It is what it is. You can't change it. What you can do is not shroud your eyes with the shroud. Most people try to work out a problem by not understanding the weight of it.

On other news, I think I might need some sleep soon. But then there's lovely Eureka Seven to be had. Fucking hallucinogens.

And now for the most important line of the post:

Your boring life is just an absence of alcohol.

So there.

Don't Fuck With Da Hui

Because Da Hui Will fuck with you.

Game,Set,Match.

The past week/day has been weird. The masterful surprise is surprised. Sleep is on a high time low. Irrelevance is on a all time high. Choices choices.

Blank Mind. Here's a nice (though small) pic of Sharapova. It's better than posting my Tag Heuer picture of Brad.

This is bad.

Of Mischa Barton and High Places

It's 6:35 in the morning and I'm just back from Genting. For utterly no reason et all.

Mischa. This is for all the good times we had.

California. Here we come.

Seeing Double.

The car is driving me up the wall. Well maybe not the car, the performance parts anyway. NOTHING I PUT IN THE CAR HASN'T REQUIRED ME TO GO FOLLOW UP ON IT AND PAYING MORE MONEY.

Even Moments Of Heaven Has It's Moments Of Hell.

Bastard manifold. Vehicle modification was never meant to be this worrisome. More power? Yes. More silly annoying vibration? Yes. Gotta switch back the parts. Means less money left? Yes.

On a related note. 200km/h has been breached. Though it cost me half a tank of fuel.

Next week should be undoubtedly interesting.

The Power of Random Blogging

Wowee! I've found a savepoint ala Silent Hill 3. Now I can just save my life data and go to sleep!

You can too!

TMS Savepoints. Saving the world one point at a time. Oh what pun!

Arr.

The Zombie Question.

Would you do a sedated, fresh, utterly hot chick zombie?
She moans by default dammit.

My Name Is Alice And I Remember Everything.

Stupid automotive forums and one (1) energy charged song can deter a person from sleep. And one thing about sleepless driving is that it's very very dangerous. Because most of the time you either lack normal alertness or tend to want to sleep at every traffic light stop. Most of the time it's both. It's utter zombieness. And if I were indeed a zombie I would want Jill Valentine to come and get me. I wonder if she would do a Lindsay and want to come first?

Arr. Me be a bad zombie. Naughty even.

Ashlee's new single hits new record!

After almost listening to the song for 12 hours, there's still no sense of it slowing down. Brilliant. Whoa Whoa Whoa HAH!

The Meaning of Life

Isn't she just lovely? Go on. Stare at the pic and gaze into her sweet smile. Therein lies the meaning of life. Words cannot do her justice. Pictures are worth a mere thousand words. Video however..

Whoa. Whoa.

We at TMS want to give a big applause to Ashlee Simpson no less for creating the most addictive single ever. I know many people who would agree that this claim lacks any sort of credibility, but as is the norm around here parts, your opinion is irrelevant. The track has been repeating here for no less than 3-4 hours and we've yet to feel any remorse towards it.
If however, you do not care for her "music", you can look at this pic on the left which clearly illustrates just how a simple change in hair color can make you and your boobs look bigger and more attractive. And natural too. On the subject of boobs, isn't a bra a booby trap? Clearly not having any content to fill this new blog (and severely lacking sleep), we're forced to leave this post as it is. Whoa. Whoa.

Public City

This is it. The Mad Doctor is finally unleashing the madness of everyday irrelevant life tips and tricks to the world! You have been warned.

"all you got to do is live in the dream world and dream in the real world"- An Epiphany Of The Solution To Life's Problems, 7/10/05, 3.19am.