Nigel Eat Your Heart Out

Your Penis Name Is...

Goliath

Penis Name Generator

Some things really require no explaination..

Having CLS

Been spending the last few days giving Jamiroquai's Live in Verona quite a bit of airplay, and it's really brilliant. The real attraction of this vid, basically most of whatever Jay Kay does, is while it does have brilliant brilliant music (even better live really), it's got an unwritten class and style to it. Almost subtle, but always present. This is the best balance of what stylissimo really is. It's not overdoing it, but balancing it with a natural style. Natural class. Most of the time people relate it to money and wealth (pretty much the same thing); however this is not the (only) way to achieve it. The key is perception. Perception on the things that matter, or more importantly, the things that don't. Having class means getting used to things that would be out of the ordinary for normal people. It means taking things for granted. And it means doing things in that context because you have the confidence that it doesn't really matter at all. Whether it does or not in reality, is a different matter. Like smoking an expensive cigar. You might've worked your ass off to get it, but if you were to smoke it like it was made of solid gold, it's really ruined. Smoke it like you would a cigarette. That's class. Concentrate on the style on handling things, not the thing itself.


Stylissimo. It's like owning a CLS and not giving a tosser because you have the 599GTB to worry about.

Obscenely Fascinating

Really. Obscenity is a way of life. Most people would frown at the word, yet it means so much more. I believe obscene is another word for flair, and flair is a good thing, no? I'm telling you this, because I know that deep down inside, while everyone strives to be "normal" (which is just basically another word for going against our natural being), they actually want to be obscene. Stylissimo, a variation of obscenity is what we want. It's about being obscene in a subtle way. It's about having a passion for living in obscenity in style.

Everyone wants to be obscenely rich.

Everyone wants to be obscenely famous.

Everyone wants to have obscenely pretty girls.

And everyone wants to get obscene with them.

Ego Trip

"Many centuries ago, people believed that the earth was the epicenter of the universe, and everything revolved around it. This theory has in recent times been disapproved with the notion that the earth was not the epicentre and revolved around the universe instead.

Bullshit.

The universe revolves around me."

I Heuer Very Much!

The Masterful Surprise Surprise has been tagged! Blessing or curse? You Decide!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Justin.
2. Woi.
3. The Masterful Surprise.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Bulk. I can stop almost anything.
2. Insulation. I can withstand extreme temperatures.
3. Space. It's what buffet champions are made of.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Bulk. It means I'm not agile.
2. Insulation. It makes me look like a polar bear.
3. Space. The distance you can see me from.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Chinese.
2. Dammit.
3. Do I really have to acknowledge the 25%?

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T STAND:
1. My 25% and anyone associated with it.
2. Pointless sports like football.
3. The fact that I'm not with a supermodel, or anywhere near a Nissan Skyline.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. That I might never get Hyo Lee, or even Kate Beckinsale.
2. That I might never own a Ferrari.
3. Evil winged spawns of the devil.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS:
1. The Mischa Barton bits in the O.C.
2. The Kristin Kreuk bits in Smallville.
3. Top Gear TV.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE JAPANESE ANIMES:
1. Eureka 7.
2. Initial D.
3. Nana.

THREE OF YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Sweetbox - Don't Push Me.
2. Ariel & Ephram - Testacles. (I do. I worry ouften)
3. M-flo ft. Melody - Miss You.

THREE MOVIES YOU CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:
1. Back to the Future.
2. Lost In Translation.
3. Serendipity.

THREE MOVIES YOU WOULD LIKE TO WATCH:
1. Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.
2. Da Vinci Code.
3. MI3. (again..I know; but I'm a sucker for Maggie Q)

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. My Mobile.
2. My Car.
3. My Ego.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Glasses.
2. Some blue(or purple) shirt.
3. Some blue(or purple) pants.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. She must be hot.
2. She must be hot.
3. She must be hot.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE GENDER THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Incredibly beautiful facial features.
2. Lovely toned stomach and/or figure.
3. Dyed Hair.

THREE BAD HABITS:
1. Choosing pointless things over logical ones.
2. Making rubbish jokes that don't work half the time.
3. Bitching.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Driving.
2. Making Out.
3. Eating.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Drive.
2. Make Out.
3. Eat.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING OR CURRENTLY PURSUING:
1. Professional Champion.
2. International Playboy.
3. Student.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Milan.
2. Paris.
3. Wouldn't be a vacation if I told you.

THREE KIDS' NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Rachel.
2. Jennifer.
3. Keira.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Drive a supercar down an airstrip.
2. Make out with Hyo Lee and/or Kate Beckinsale.
3. Eat at that shrimp place by the beach in Fast & Furious

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GUY:
1. The constant dream of wanting to drive a supercar down an airstrip,
2. the need to make out with Hyo Lee and/or Kate Beckinsale,
3. and the wanting to eat at some shrimp place by the beach.

INITIALS OF THREE CRUSHES:
1. I cannot publish these here,
2. mainly because these are either friend's girlfriends,
3. or close acquaintances.

THREE PEOPLE YOU TAG TO DO THE SURVEY:
1. Ian.
2. Theo. (Now you both have to do it again! Ha!)
3. YOUR NAME HERE!

Virtual Insanity

Last week's been a reality check. My godfather's passing has been surreal, and when i got back from my trip from samui, everything at home seemed to be in disarray as well. For one , the XBOX is gone, which means all of the OC and all my Top Gear(3 full seasons at least), along with a good selection of anime as well as movies are gone. Secondly, the PC was affected as well, which really was an issue as the assignment deadlines were due. A week on, I'm typing this to say that after the incident, I've realised that life is surprisingly short, and if you're not going to do what you want, when you want to, then you might never know. What does your life stand for? What do you stand for?

On other news, for this semester's video assignment, I'll be recreating Jay Kay's virtual insanity video to a certain degree, and short of actually creating rigs (which translates to time x money), or setting up a green screen (also time x money, but more practical for future endeavours), I've actually no real idea on recreating the award-winning masterpiece. I've thought about a few "cheat" methods, and while they all seem to work perfectly in my head; until the actual filming is done I'm not sure if any of it will even work at all.

Disco Time

I've just come across a move song, which is simply awesome. Simply simply awesome. The song is awesome, and so is the video. It expresses the craziness of the driver on roadtrips when the passengers are asleep. So bloody brilliant. Damn. I miss those trips.

Electrorock is back.

Twenty-Zero-Six

What's in a year? Why does the counting of the planet's orbital movement in any way affect your life? I'll tell you why. It's because we need an excuse. We always do. To question why is only to give way for another excuse. You're probably asking why? why? and why? to many of your problems. You already know the solution. You already know the outcome. However, initiative is one tricky entity. It needs excuses. Without an excuse to do something, nothing gets done. I'm not implicating that everyone needs excuses to get things done. Most of the time it's money that gets things done. But for all those other times, it's safe to say that excuses has had it's fair share of initiative er..initiation. The lesson of the story? Well, stop using excuses to fuel initiation. Take initiative for no reason at all. Do it because you can, not because you want to. And with that, suddenly you become your own. You discover a world that is the choice of champions. The world that is the masterful surprise.

I've often quoted that this world is made up to three types of people: Those who watch, those who do, and those who do well. This is particularly true, and as aspirations are very much different to commitment and success, to that they might be more difficult to achieve. But hey, this isn't mission difficult, it's mission impossible, difficult should be a walk in the park for you. (Sorry, even the forces that are TMS couldn't stop that line--Ed.)

And back to the totally contradictary nature of this blog, where we often say one thing, and do another: this post itself was an excuse to post the lovely Keira Knightley pic above. We want to wake up to her tomorrow morning. Oh how we do.

Orido MAX Style

This is Manabu "Maximum" Orido, and he is a japanese man. He drifts cars really well. His style is taking it to the max.

YOUR LIFE!

DO IT MAXIMUM STYLE!

Life in Pictures

Often, we have this romantic link to a certain concept to life, one that we see as perfection. A life in a picture. The picture on the left is not really my ideal life, but it comes close. This is a picture painted by some marketing department to shout in your ear and say "hey you! get a PS2! look at the life you can have!", and to be fair, some people do indeed have such a perfect looking life. I've seen it, felt it, but have never lived it fully and that is why I keep chasing the life in pictures. My pictures.

It's true. You never know what you can lose until you've had it.

The Masterful Art Collection

Here it is! In all it's glory the first limited piece of the Masterful Art Collection, entitled "Flight of The Cock", a contemporary art piece that is, and will always remain a true classic; simply because unlike some other art pieces that just sits there and does nothing, this one does it stylishly, and more importantly, masterfully. Our resident TMS contributor Randy Andy was spotted grabbing his crotch every time he passed by the art piece. When asked why he only muttered something about it being "powerful yet so sexy" before running off to the washroom with a box of tissues. The piece represents today's lifestyle, the end of monogamy and keen female art enthusiasts are bound to find more uninterpreted new meaning simply by staring at it when not wearing underwear. Kids can also spend hours on end laughing at the giant cock while entertaining themselves to a simple maze game also included in the piece.

Limited to 3 worldwide.

Bids start at $25,000. Contact TMS offices to get hold of a chance to own one.

YUI Are My Number 1!

It is day four of 2006 and nothing feels remotely noveau. Nothing feels like a big different year. It's 2006, that's six years since the y2k scam, a time where the generation X fad has become so passe. And that says something. This year (as was last year actually) is actually nothing new. What was new has become everyday life. And what is everyday life is the same. The question we need be answered is this : do we really need change? I've heard that change is good, it brings new concepts and ideas together and that in turn brings nice new things to your life. However, I've also heard that familiarity breeds content. Content? I think more like contentment. We get used to things we're familiar with, we get comfortable. Changes are high risk manouevers that we may not all be prepared for at all times. But it is in that non-preparation that we learn. The human race is not really a race at all. It's a confused gene-pool of evolution that doesn't know where it's heading and more importantly; it doesn't know why. This explains why people often question their purpose in life. I was posed such a question at a forum the other day, and interestingly enough, the answer came rather easily. My purpose in life is current. And in that purpose is to listen to this really awesome single by YUI, who happens to be really cute as well. Oh how I love her life video. Makes me melt.

New year. New philosophy. In girl we thrust.

The Masterful Ingredients

How to make a the masterful surprise:
3 parts anger
5 parts brilliance
1 part joy
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add fitness to taste!
Do not overindulge!
Use as you see fit.lovely.girls.

Neu New Noveau

Another new year is just very literally around the corner, and all the resolutions are flooding through the..er..flood gates like a monkey on heat. This year the resolutions have come in early, with crazy active lifestyles and the cigarette quit more imminent.Ar, such a lazy Friday here at work. The iPOD is out of battery (hence charging) and the woman who plays MixFM is on leave, so that leaves no music but aircond noise and muffled traffic. 3 more hours to go; till I can go home and sleep (maybe) and look at my sexy pretty Talho. And maybe eat. AAr. Me be off now. Got some white ninja to read up on.

Sarah Carter makes me so hot.

Dip Them Lights Down Low

Xmas is now. It's here. It's inevitable. It's a merry one. Though not as merry as I'd expect. I'm here sat down typing this (yet again) listening to Home Made Kazoku's Shounen Heart, waiting and pondering over xmassy lunch plans, glancing at the nirvash typeZERO and maybe wondering about Talho's immensely interesting but perfectly formed breasts. This is the time for reflection, much like a mirror; but not on physical objects, instead on the outcome of the year. It's been one, weird but very very different year. 2005. It's been a year of hopes and dreams coming true as well as a year of re-positioning and rearrangement of priorities. However, as with every year, there are countless things that have turned out not as they should. But those were pretty much expected. Well, as of now, it seems that there is a very big difference in perception from the beginning of the year in almost every aspect of life with the exception of my rather excessive addiction to pretty girls.

Let them good times roll.

Wet Leather

It's 5:44pm on a Friday. Eve before the eve of Xmas. I'm surrounded by toys though, as the ones I ordered a week ago finally arrived an hour ago (sorry Theo) and the sky outside is so glum I can almost imagine the flying demons in the rain. Or Kate Beckinsale. Oh how I love her. What interests me is that when I sit here in the office, I tend to have this really horny mindset. And a boosted imagination to boot. Weird. Damn I can't stop thinking about tight asses and tender tits. In wet leather. Better leave before I do the pony.

Pointless Pondering

Admittedly, it's been a while since our last update as I've been pretty (preoccupied that is) with events that suddenly pop out of nowhere. Maybe it's the festivities normally associated with this time of the year. But I think maybe not. Whatever the reason (and the reason's not you), that reason is irrelevant anyway. Pointless as well. Here I am, sat in front of my office workstation (with nothing to do at the moment due to a sudden halt in all proposed workloads) listening to Ashlee Simpson's Autobiography on my shuffle which might or might not be sold off in the next few days. But I fear to think what my days here would be like without music. My music that is. We've got Mix FM on pretty much 9-5 which really doesn't play Boyfriend or something, though I've heard Julio Iglesias's Moonlight Lady one too many times. So there. Xmas is around the corner again, and while I don't share the same enthusiasm as last year, I do feel more like doing the xmas thing. Y'know, get a tree and roast reindeer. Or something. However, at the end of it all, the fact remains that xmas is only five days away, and that's another five from new year's day, also a song by U2. The point being, which one do you look forward to? Reindeer or 2006? Elves or Fireworks? I know what I did the past few new year's. Absolutely nothing. And for some reason, I think it's going to be the same this year. And I don't really care.

Oh yeah as usual, any lovely girl that wants to get some tis' season in style can contact The Masterful Surprise team at the usual address and we'll just come right on over.

Bite your hat girl. Mmm. You look so naughty.

Shallow Waters

What is it about being shallow that makes it bad? In fact, what is so wrong about liking good design? In essence, I believe that is all it really is, an appreciation of good design over trivial values such as personality. Right about now, I can just almost hear all those girl readers starting a riot and shouting about how girls or women should never be treated as objects. But really, who are you trying to kid? I have yet to meet one girl that hasn't put good looks or even objects above personality at any point of their relationship. Because, in the end, it is the very first step of attraction. But. Hear me out. Good looks are very subjective. Some people like a monkey looking girlfriend. Others don't. I'm not saying personality doesn't help in any relationship. I just believe it takes a back seat to a hot/sweet/gorgeous piece of ass. And by that I mean face (although to some people translate that in measurements of tits, body curvature and some just plain ass). And then theres always that small literal piece of fact that will back me in my fight for shallow-ity. Everyone, no I mean everything is an object. We live in a dimension/world/space where everything is an object to begin with. And that means you and I are entities of physical attributes. So. Being treated as an object isn't harsh because that's what you are to begin with. Ok. ok. Look at it this way, would you spend your good, hard earned cash on an ugly car/bag? Probably not. People are only limited to attaining certain objects because of ability. Or simply because they have very different taste. I do believe that if you spend enough time with a certain someone/something you can learn to like/love it but to a certain degree, it would only mean you've gotten used to it/her/him. Why bother to do this when your choices are limitless? So. In the end I say this. You only say that you appreciate personality over a beautiful girl because you a) have bad taste b) your tolerance to bad design is higher that normal and/or you have some sort of personality/practicality fetish c) your obtaining abilities are limited d) you are shrouded by that feeling called temporary insanity (also known as love in some social circles) e) you have gotten used to bad design.

So there.

THIS IS THE MASTERFUL SURPRISE.

A Little Less Conversation

Doesn't really work; you need both. And intrestingly enough, as expected, sociality is not such a hard thing to accomplish, given the right circumstances. Rule number one is to derail all the setbacks in your mind. Kill the awkwardness and be comfortable with any given situation, and yet practice to keep the ball rolling.

Because when the ball is rolling, Indy will run.

Pointless. But to the correct channels, it makes perfect sense.

When All Is Lost

What do you do when you fight for something you have believed all your life and come to the realisation that that something might have been wrong? What if the answer was there all along? What if it was all staged? What if?

There might have been a serious error in judgement. There might have been that one case where I could've been wrong. There might.

Evidence is not necessarily the truth. Because evidence is always based on a scope of findings. And when the scope's range changes, initial evidence becomes inaccurate.

Therefore, all is lost.

You start with one.