SURV1V3

[instrumental - 2 bars]

(When the daylight's in my eyes)
(It wakes me and I feel alive)
(Drift away to free my soul)
(Drive away to free my will)
(Fade into the air)
(Just to stay alive)
(...alive...)

[instrumental - 3 bars]

I can't, I can't survive
Struggle to find the way, but faith is on my side
There's nothing left, block out!
Stuck in my life, why can't I go do my thing
Break out!
Nothing to gain, you know it feels like ash
I can't, I can't describe
I feel I've lost control, within the twisted will in my eye
Work out!
Stuck in this place, why can't I rise up through this maze?
Break out!
There's no way back, the time is now for me

[instrumental - 1 bar]

Drift away to free my soul
Another day, another way
Fade into the air
Just to stay alive
Find myself again
Drive away to free my will
Straying like the clouds
Just to stay alive

[instrumental - 6 bars]

(When the daylight's in my eyes)
(It wakes me and I feel alive)
(Drift away to free my soul)
(Drive away to free my will)
(Fade into the air)
(Just to stay alive)

Walk out!
Stuck in this place, why can't I rise up through this maze?
(Drift away to free my soul)
(Drive away to free my will)
Walk out!
Stuck in this place, why can't I rise up through this maze?
(Fade into the air)
(Just to stay alive)

I can't, I can't survive
I try to find the way, but faith will be my guide
There's nothing left, block out!
Stuck in my life, why can't I rise up through this maze?
Break out!
There's no way back, you know it feels like ash

[instrumental - 1 bar]

When the daylight's in my eyes
It wakes me and I feel alive
Fade into the frozen air
Just to stay alive
Face myself again
Drift away to free my soul,
Find the way, 'cause faith looks in
On my side, he rode

[instrumental - 2 bars]

(When the daylight's in my eyes)
(It wakes me and I feel alive)
(Drift away to free my soul)
(Drive away to free my will)
(Fade into the air)
(Fade into the air)
(Drift away to free my soul)
(Drive away to free my will)
(Fade into the air)
(Just to stay alive)

Something's Not Quite Right...

It's a minute to 4am as I'm typing this on my excellently new, nice, but slightly less well equipped keyboard (my Australian one called it quits; what's new?) and I'm completely knackered. I've spent most of my Friday night completing my rendition of a Veyron-Ark painting for my portfolio (whilst completing a half-bottle of Chivas Regal at the same time) listening to MSTRKRFT's Fist of God album (which is brilliant, I must say). Why am I sat doing work on a Friday night when I should be out lingering with pretty girls at the clubs or scouring the streets for lovely supper? The answer is hardly surprising: It's almost been two months (or has it?) since I've gotten back home, and I'm supposed to get a job. My portfolio has been on hold for a decade or so simply because I have had better things to do. And I do have better things to do. Tons of games need to be finished, weight needs to be lost, and my car needs some customising. That's not even inclusive of the claiming of my superannuation from my previous job back in Melbourne. It's hard to believe that I was there for a few years. It all seems all too distant, and my reality has again shifted considerably. Nothing has really gone to plan, and I'm a bit sceptical that anything will. You see, when a sports-coupe becomes a sedan, and weight-loss becomes weight-gain, the weather isn't exactly enjoyable, and all the girls you see cannot compare (per sq.ft.), it becomes real pointless to find a job. Except for the money thing, obviously.

Which is annoying, because there was supposed to be a 350z in the garage, a lot of (alcoholic) tropical drinks with little paper umbrellas, and sexy girls to do (instead of portfolios) on Friday nights.

The Kojima Report

So what happens is; after waking up at 8am on the 2nd (after sleeping at 5am); I'm treated to the serenity of what was torrential rain and thunder into somthing really calm and nice, soft hues of streaming water and birds chirping, only to be disturbed by the fact that the next in the line of MGS games is going to be a Raiden based one. Not too surprising since he happens to be Kojima's favourite son of sorts. What IS interesting comes the day after: a proper MGS for the PSP?

E3 was immensely exciting too: Mario Galaxy 2? A new new Super Mario Bros? GT for the PSP? And get this....Kojima doing a Castlevania? What the hell's going on yeah? It's brilliant. And I can't wait for Ghostbusters at the end of the month, amongst other things.

So Kojima, you like to see yourself on TV huh?

So I was there waiting (read:no toilet breaks during the vicinity of the thing going zero) for the stuped timer thing to go off and give me a sort of exclusive reveal on their next project. So the thing does go to zero. And does nothing. No insane hints or flashes of Naomi (nice pun!). Being a paranoid android, I tabbed the page and reloaded it on another hoping for something new. Being overloaded as hell (the site), it sure took it's time. So you'd think there'd be some sort of mild anticipation when...

All I get is another timer. WTF mate? ANOTHER TIMER? You gotta be kidding me. So it flashes 5, E, e, 3 (in that order). What does that even mean? Reveals at e3? 5Ee 3? WTF?? Mind you I could have gotten it a bit wrong but yeah.

So I'll see you in 199 hours Kojima. It better not be another timer.

It's funny when where you want to be isn't a location.

April 16th came and went, and it was good. Built my day around the movie (and as expected), ran into logistics issues. It was well worth it, but only got to watch it twice. Now, it's the day after; and the after-effects are yet to set in proper. The soundtrack has been on loop for the past week or so (Blanco!) and yes, as Sal pointed out so blatantly, this is the first time I've watched a F&F movie without any sort of automobile sat in the garage. I thought I would have gone a bit madder than this. But it's a sad realization that I might have accepted the facts, and that's worrying simply because; I never accept the facts.
As far as I can see, the movie did have some direct effects: the return to modding culture has been re-sparked, and as long as I keep myself in line, that's a good thing. It was also surprisingly well made (I'm biased on this) and a nice reunion with characters that I have grown to adore 8 or so years ago.

Need to head out to work again, so have to leave this as it is. And yes, it's this stark contrast with reality that will drive me mad.

Square One.

Haven't written in for quite a bit and quite a fair bit has happened. First off I've moved away from Milano into someplace in the middle of Richmond, where most of my day takes place anyways (think uni and work). Secondly, my project-cum-workhorse EG4 has been totalled (read total-loss) last Tuesday (I won't go into details but it was not my doing for once). So it's all a bit odd. There were some (Sydney for one) good times with the car. It was surprisingly fuel efficient, torquey and did the job without (much) complaining, although the red-pink faded paint job did bring back not so fond memories of the 1.3. Well I suppose the end of the project was inevitable anyway. A considerable amount of time (and resources) was put into sourcing suitable wheels, tyres, exhaust tailpipe, let alone the Spoon front splitter (understand that Melbourne is a total mod part sourcing nightmare). I just kinda feel bad for the EG. It's like it had such potential. A B18C transplant, a pair of Recaros and some footwork complimented with some gun metal paint was all it needed (OK maybe a decent amp, some 6X9s, a sub, sunroof, front and rear lens, a HID system, mudflaps, boot cover, spoon spoiler and some upholstery refurbishing was in order).
So yeah, it's all over now (for the better I suppose) but then what I'm left with is the bicycle again (and public transport). Granted that the train station is really close by and the tram stop is directly in front of the house, it means trips to K-mart at 3am or my frankfurter run to the Safeway in Camberwell is pretty much a no-no. I've contemplated cycling around at night, but it's getting pretty cold at the moment. I like cold mind you, but then I like cold so I can huddle up in my blanket, safe and warm. Not so much when you're travelling at 20 or so km/h without a windshield (Don't say superbiking is the same cos you get to wear nice leathers and a full faced Arai or whatever and you'd just look silly riding a bicycle in leathers.) So it's back to PGR4 I suppose.

Square one. Again.

Tiger Wooks 09' for XBOX360, PS3 & Wii.

Leading sports video games maker EA Sports has announced earlier today that they will be dropping their world #1 franchise Tiger Woods PGA TOUR for a new partnership with Tiger Wooks, golfing world's current ultimate champion, and released a press release stating that Woods was "past his prime" and [that] "gamers needed a change, but will not really notice the difference anyways". Wooks is a newcomer to the golfing arena but made headlines early last year when he entered the PGA Tour without a handicap quoting that "Pros aren't limited to such trivial things". Well known for taking radical risks on the course and then somehow winning them through sheer trajectory (or luck), Wooks is the only player in golfing history to win the PGA Tour twice in a year, entering two player profiles in 2008, and then getting to a tie with himself at the top. "I really wanted two jackets." was Wooks winning quote as he clinched the title last year.

EA Sports's decision to drop former #1 Tiger Woods came as a shock to many PGA TOUR fans as they were worried that the increased skill of Wooks would mean that uncomprehensible skill would be required to play the game. To calm diehard fans of the game, Wooks released a press statement stating that the game mechanics would remain exactly the same down to the box art itself (bar the change of Woods to Wooks). Wooks was also quoted saying that "fans of the old Woods game will feel right at home with Wooks simply because it is the same game." and [that] "we didn't want to change the game at all not because it is perfect, but because it's a waste of time and money". When asked if there were any differences at all, Wooks cunningly smiled and said "It's got my name on it."

Wooks also sparked controversy early this year after blowing the time-old adage that golfing requires skill -- "Golfing is not about skill, it is about trajectory. I acknowledge skill, and am therefore thankful not to possess any." Wooks plans to win 3 PGA Tours this year to "set the record straight" by using his 2010 game in 2009. When asked how he will perform such a task, he said "people [other golfers] always bring forth their game to evolve. I bring my game from the future so it's already evolved."

-Golferworld

Making sense of fate, and perhaps love itself.

It's 3.55 in the morning, and I'm back on the bourbon. I've just watched Ghost Town (right after Kevin Smith's aptly titled Zack and Miri make a porno.) and after a bit of emotional soul searching (something I tend to do after watching movies; especially rom-coms), I've just realised that fate is the direct consequence of a cumulative will of others. And because of that there is no way to actually fully control anything. When people tell you to do your best, they're basically asking you to have the will to try and control your fate. Which is subject to the cumulative will of others, or "the environment" around us, so to speak. So what you ask? Where am I going with this? The point of this rant really is to prove two things. First, controlling your life is absurd, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try. There are things that we want to control, the illusion of power, acceptance and perceived happiness envelopes us. However there is one thing that money and power can never buy. And The Beatles were right, it really is love (well they were on the right track anyway). Money can get you percieved love yes. Physical love definitely. But not true love. None of the heart wrenching feelings you get when you see that perfect smile. Or that warm glow. But the point really isn't about love. It's about the will of others , mislead with the example of love. You can influence people to change their minds. But you can never really control their will. And that's the one true gift that each of us have. That's the one equal thing that each and every inhabitant of this planet has. The amount of will however, is sadly not equal. The second point I was trying to get at was that will itself is the only important thing we need to build. Because, with will, we can achieve the skills we don't have, get the things we want, and get the things we need. But things will remain things. And remember, you can never buy true love. That comes from a culmulative will of two (or in some instances, more) people. And that, my friend is exactly is why some people will always tell you that love is fated.

It's November? Is it?

It's been way too long since I last put a rant in, and all I can muster up is probably one that wouldn't do the hiatus any sort of justice. So what's new? As you can probably tell, I've just went and watched Quantum of Solace...twice. Gemma Arterton really is someone to look out for, I mean Kurylenko really is exotic, but Gemma simply lingers in the mind really. I'm really a little appalled that most of the people I have met did not enjoy the movie, yet alone think it was great. It was well choreographed, the DBS scene was lovely, and I think it was quite well balanced for a movie as such. Did anyone even remember the horrible horrible Die Another Day? Either ways, my end of the year break has just begun, well, as soon as I hand up my practically finished design doco anyways. It feels like a holiday already anyway. I've got work tomorrow afternoon so can't really do much now at all. This holidays was meant to be action packed, but the momentum it has built over the past few weeks have slowed down into a slow, lazy crawl. I'm not sure myself what's been going on this semester really. It's been a full thirteen (or fourteen) weeks constantly juggling insanity with work and assignments, kept in check by the consumption of way too much alcohol at home (which I'm on at the moment) , lack of any actual relationships (although that doesn't mean I didn't have any time to get a bit..naughty.) Getting bored...will continue this rant in a bit.

Australesque Days

I got myself a bike. No. Not the one in the picture. It's a bicycle. Wanted to upload a picture of it, but this looks...so much prettier. But this is the bike I keep stopping to stare endlessly at when riding along Elizabeth on my way back from work. That's right. I got work. I'm not sure how long they'll let me keep doing what I've been doing. But I do hope they pay me real soon. Because I've spent most of my money on the bicycle. And a wii. The bicycle's pretty specced up, 21 gears, speed meter and all the bells and erm..lights. I was planning to hook up the N95 to it but have yet to do so. GPS and Rihanna live on the go sounds pretty nice. On a bicycle. Well it's all in the works (and by that I mean someday soon probably). Anyways, the wii was a sudden thing as well. I was playing on my housemate's wii and almost finished Sonic 2 on it when I realised that this will be as close to a NES that I'll ever get. And that's something I've wanted since 1985. And so I went ahead on that front. Classes have been good and bad. I've been going but assignments are accumulating as usual. Life's been kinda surreal these past weeks. I don't think it's good or bad. Just different. I have a lot less PGR4 time, but it's not really such a bad thing. It's nice to have that to come home to but it's been less of a relaxation compared to some bourbon and sleep. Am also toying with the idea of rearranging the room. Taking the minimalist approach this time around. Something calm yet stylish. At the moment it's all the very messy. But a functional mess. It's like layers of stuff that's connected somehow. I've always wanted to give the minimalist approach a shot, but it always seems distant considering my inner OCD wants everything to be on demand. What makes this attempt any different? I figure with this much change happening around me, maybe I should just ride it out. Make a real change. And see where that takes me. Maybe it'll take me to that bike shop on Elizabeth selling that beautiful yellow CBR1000RR. And that ain't half bad.

Times like these..

I'm bothered. I'm not sure by what. Oh, that's right. I'm annoyed that class starts in 2 days. I'm annoyed that I haven't done anything to mark the end of the holidays. I'm annoyed that the Tattslotto numbers I got on 8/8/08 didn't turn out the way it should've. I'm annoyed that it's raining and the weather outside is just too cold to do any form of venturing or any sort of partying. I'm annoyed at my $100 mobile bill. I'm annoyed by the fact that I'm not sure why I got The Corrs DVD. I'm annoyed that the only thing that was worth watching on TV was Star Wars Episode II (NOT the Olympics). I'm annoyed that there hasn't been some miracle that has somehow made me an owner of a brand new Skyline. I'm annoyed that I was too full up from dinner to have Pacific duck rice or the Shanghai dumplings after. I'm annoyed that I'm starting to sound like I'm bitching over trivial things. Silver lining? I saw a massive rainbow today. I met a really really cute waitress at a nice Japanese restaurant today (the food was nice as well but pales by comparison to her). I've managed to play a few songs on hard mode in Guitar Hero. I managed to not splash on a PS3 today (although who knows what spending spree tomorrow holds?). I got the definitive Foreigner remastered CD and liked it. I have fallen in love with chocolates again and have surprisingly no worries on how many calories they might hold. And I got my lovely chicken chips. I managed to contact some old acquaintances too.

Negativity wins. I'm bothered. Good thing for me (and you lucky readers!) I have the picture on this post to stare endlessly at. Whoever she is.

At Holiday's End

I hate the feeling that I get when a new semester is looming beyond the weekend. Given that most of my semesters are kinda like my holidays but with commitments and trips to Glenferrie dotted about my calendar, it's still annoying really. It's like having this whole commitment shadow over you. It takes the fun out of everything. Which is why I've literally gone mad about going mad for the past week or so. It's like a release to kick off the semester. It started with the notion of what if? and continued to what if I got a macbook? what if instead I got a VAIO? (I've been wanting the lightweight TX series for ages) what if I got myself a bike? what about a car? what if I just bought a ticket to Tokyo? or Hong Kong? It was all physically possible. This idea to go mad. None of it was really viable though. First off I already have a laptop, and all those that I wanted had a similar specification. Secondly, a learner permit only allows me to ride a 250cc bike, which ruins all superbike aspirations. I could get a car, but would have nowhere to park it. Or pay for the maintainence for a 1980s BMW 5 Series. And the globe-trotting trips just cost more than a bike and laptop combined. So I've just bought myself some Nelson County and Wicked Wings (that's bourbon and fried chicken to all you non-Aussie folks) and some chicken chilopolatas (chicken sausages), and did a few hours of PGR4. It's one of those times where I'm glad I bought that 360 steering wheel. It really helps me cruise (I'm referring to my state of mind). But it's annoying that after awhile you realize that you're cruising in circles. Might need Import Tuner Challenge. Perhaps that's something to do tomorrow. Along with FFIV. But that's just...pointless. Hmm...well I had no problem with Melbourne until now. Not like I have a real problem with the city. Well I do actually. It's too damn small. Maybe I'm just limited by my insistence that I DO NOT LIKE PUBLIC TRANSPORT. All the very..pedestrian. It's good for exercise or what not; but it'll never beat driving the GTi down any given highway. And now that it's sold, I'll be coming home to...ugh. I don't even want to think about it. It's at least a year before I see a replacement, and I hope PGR4 and GRID really does it's job. But there's a bright side to the sitch you say? How's buying a bicycle? I'm seriously thinking about it; but apparently it doesn't do any favours for my manhood. It's on the internet, so it's gotta be true. Alters and kills your kids apparenly (and get this..even before you get that tofu-breasted supermodel you see on Project Runway). I feel as though the city doesn't want me to get transport of any kind, kinda like a sick joke that happens to be real. Very real. What's worse? M3s and Skylines and S15s are aplenty. All driven by korean hippies that wouldn't know the difference between traction control and ABS. Well OK so that might be an exaggeration. But it's really starting to make me wonder. Is the want of an RB26DETT that big of a dream? Is the 355 GTS really more capable that the FQ-400 as it implies in PGR4? I think the correct answer to that is whatever. Tomorrow comes whether you're content or not.

Might as well put whatever to good use.

July

It's been ultimately a very long time since my last post. I'm well aware of that, and what better time to update the blog now when all traffic has probably come to a halt? It'll make a good update anyways. Tons have happened since the last post that I'm not sure where to even begin. Let's see, there was the semester (which wasn't the smoothest of semesters I might add, but it's all good at the moment), and Uni probably starts in about a month. That leaves me with much less time to finish what I started out to do. Given, so far this holiday has seen MGS4, GTA4 and Halo 3 finished so far, but it's a far cry from what is my everyday life. That was all done in a span of about a week. What about the other month or so? I can't really remember much about it except that I've been spending the past week or so getting best times for PGR4's Quebec grand city tour route. It's really a very brilliant course. Made real by the 360 steering. I can't say I've felt a more realistic driving simulation solution atm. It's really brill until Sal decides to get the G25 for GT5 (although he's probably going to use it to run Daytona USA on emus) , which is basically a date TBA. Oh, and been guitar heroing around the house every so often, esp with the new Top Gun Anthem available free. Besides that I've been really just been watching the Long Way Down (which is absolutely brilliant) and dreaming of buying superbikes for a week or so. It's terribly annoying that there's no job replies yet. But like Rachel once said (in SE01 EP01 more accurately) "I'm qualified for nothing!" and then goes on to be so cheerily happy because she got her new boots boots with her dad's credit card. Or something like that. I would like to say I'm in a similar dilemma, except I didn't run away from a wedding, or have a credit card for that matter. I suppose my dad probably had an epiphany that I'm more than capable to buy a bike had I been given said card. Wise. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't have personal transport to Sydney for my year end extravaganza. Well, it's still a few months away and I need to get a license as well. All this ranting seems too...amateurish! Annnyways..it's about 13 degrees outside and it's kinda lovely weather especially with Daft Punk's Technologic playing in the background. It's been one really different year. It's not that much better, but then I can't say it's that much worse as well. It's just been horribly weird. Changes are good they say. Really? I've thought about it. People adapt to changes in two ways. One, they (sooner or later) accept their fate, and give in to change. The second, adapt to the change but do not accept their fate, trying to make the change controllable, or more to their own tune. This is both good and bad as it is directly related to the intensity of action versus the probability of change. Increased intensity increases probability but does not guarantee a good change or change at all. So the bad would be failure to change what is, and increased intensity only allows for a higher probability of failure as well as increased height to which we fall from. So which is better? There is no direct answer simply because it's down to contentment. If change makes you content, then intensity remains the same (or in most cases) a negative figure. Therefore you stay where you are when you are content. So really, change isn't always good, it either makes you long to preserve the present, envious of the past, or trying to change the future. It's all work anyways. And all this even after I had those seven days in sunny June.

Seven Days In Sunny June

It's 6:23 in the morning, and I'm still awake having just watched what seemed like a few hours worth of some Friends documentary on E!. Okay, so I was supposed to complete my 1,000 word essay on some Unreal Tournament level; and I've barely started, bar testing out the capabilities of my newly setup workstation (I just had to brag about it). Today's been rather uneventful bar the morning readings on bsp, a trip to the city, and dinner at Coretto's. I've also tried to straighten my already straight-ish hair (with mixed results, and an odd smell). Oh, and Earth Hour too. We turned off all the lights and watched Black Adder reruns for an hour. I'm not really one for the environment, but hey doesn't hurt to participate yeah? Pics later perhaps. Since my trip back; (and my extended hiatus from this blog) I haven't been doing much except being focused on way too many video games. Granted that I'm supposed to be considering it's relevant to my course, I think it's taken much of my normal time. Aside from the alcohol that seems to just appear every now and then; life has pretty much been Guitar Hero and Xbox live. Well this really isn't much of a rant as it is a worry. I just hope this semester works out (again) and that everything too does work out; and I can finish those games and shows I've started. Gym too perhaps. Ooh and finished FFXII finally, along with DMC4 and some obscure H-games that well, just had to be finished. More goals to complete, including juggling this sem's subjects with sleep, games and work. I suspect, only when it's all done, can I have those seven blissful days in sunny June.

The Update Of Champions

It's 3:58pm and I'm waiting for the oven to preheat so that I can make breakfast. It's sausages and (hopefully) scrambled eggs and toast today. Been a hectic week this last one. 24 15 page summaries, a 3D model and a 2k word essay PLUS presentation and finishing Mario Kart DS. Okay, so Mario Kart wasn't on the list..but it was brilliant. It's been raining these past two days and it's raining like mental now. Now when I say mental I mean not the mental rain we get back home...that's just preposterous. Well...there isn't much on this lazy Sunday to speak of (yet); I've just woken up about 2 hours ago to exchange some stuff at the shops, and I have been listening to Razor Ramon HG's Young Man on loop for a good part of the time I've been awake. It is really saysaysay. So then, it's been awhile since a serious update (wired posts at 5am don't count) and there's been tons that have happened. Well there was the Jacky concert which was just so brilliant. It went on for like 3 hours and was simply amazing. In between that time and now it's been blurry really... just a mix of free time and messing about watching Ewan's Long Way Round and drinking and a bit of Crown in between. Oh and I found out that when you do drink too much coffee(and you can), there is such a thing as a coffee hangover. Coffee veterans probably know this, but it is not funny at all. It's like an alcohol hangover except you're not drunk, and it's clear as hell; added with the fact that I think I overworked myself (I never thought that was possible; but constant-summarizing can do that to a man), it was terrible. Really. Well...what have I been up to presently then? Started Gurren Lagann finally; and have been trying to get myself to finally finish FF12, and the list of games I made to keep me going before the assignments were done. So what next? There's tons of media to catch up on; been planning to do this all month (since the beginning of the semester actually), but then haven't been able to even get a decent night's sleep. I have also found the recipe to the world's greatest neslo. It could be because it's not really nescafe I'm using. And the milo here apparently tastes funny. But it works! Ooh and yes the world's most beautiful steak as well. I suppose if you keep making the same thing, it'll evolve to something amazing. Staring at the xbox now, thinking of T3, Outrun 2 and SVC Chaos; the few games I DO have for that system; thinking how I really should get a PS3 instead. Been spending some time with GT HD and way too much time with Resistance: Fall of Man; which kinda sucked initially, but turned out to be a rather good and interesting foray. Just played Heavenly Sword yesterday, and it was brilliant. Seriously. Sal's been going on and on about it for months, and in true masterful fashion, I just ignored his hype; until now. It's interesting this. Anyways, there are the three big releases (FFXIII, MGS4 and GT5) next year so best get one of them machines by then. Or at least, figure out something by then. Either ways..I can't think of anything more to write about. Till the next time.

Oh, and that's Tash from Atomic Kitten if you're wondering. The wonders of print screen.

It's 5am I'm Wired

5am 2 cups of coffee later and listening to LL Cool J. He's cool he is. I mean no one else in Deep Blue Sea could beat his performance there. The chef. What a good show. Anyways, as you can probably tell from my nonsensical rant (or from the rather obvious title above) that I'm a little wired. It's bright here at 5am. It's annoying. All I've done tonight was watch human beatboxing , Jin's rap contests as well as the everbeautifulandlovelytastysupertalented Marie Digby. Marie-ay fellas. Marie-ay. Don't say it the wrong way. It's like when people pronounce stradale as stra-dale not stra-da-lay. Bloody annoying. Oh, and Gallardo is Gay-ar-do. Damn Akon don't know how his shit. Well anyways, it's been awhile since I've posted any real posts on this blog, and no it won't happen tonight. I'm wired remember? I'm not planning to do some endurance rant that will make me go on till 6am. I've got a class at 12; which means I need to get up by 11 to make it there on time; which also means I need to get up by 9 cos I've got a little design thing due. Damn deadlines. Keeps my life in check I suppose. Not too pleased with my progress this semester. It's been way too chill for this. Rubbish.

Better go. Sleepy time.

Evolution.

Thursday in September

It's 12:25am in the morning, so it's technically Friday. But I'm typing about Thursday. Thursday was a slow, lazy day. It was fun at the start. I slept at six looking for media on that pretty pretty Marié Digby. It's rather amusing how one youtube video can change your life (hers, not mine). Either ways, that's how it began. I went to sleep at six wildly tired, and woke up at 1pm-ish. Should have been sufficient, but I had like 5 hours from the night before, and that made things.....difficult. Anyway, I woke up at 1pm eyes feeling weird, brain feeling weird; just feeling weird overall; an urban headache that really isn't a headache. It made my day just lying down on the couch trying to dream. Trying to reach out. Trying to make my day work. But no. It didn't happen. Until now. I feel like the day's gone, but to badly quote Metallica, the memory remains.

Either ways, I'm off to watch Stranger Than Fiction, and hoping to enjoy the couch after that. Maybe tomorrow will be lovelier.

Chase The Dream.

Well it's another season of Entourage, and it's been good. Seriously, where is that lifestyle? Is it in hiding? Does it even exist? That really gets to me. Whether it really exists. Because if it does , then I can rest easy.
I mean logic would tell me, that if someone can dream it, and produce a visual representation of it, then someone somewhere is living it. Most of us dare not dream or see what we really want to dream simply because a stark comparison to what reality serves up to us, and that just basically scares us. Dismissing 'the life' as a goal, but not a realistic one.

I ask why. I ask how. I will not be scared to dream it, and compare it with reality. I will not be disappointed to find that it does not exist. Because I have seen glimpses of it; but never the full picture. Sometimes I wonder why society binds the majority to difficult situations that breeds counter-acts to this sort of behaviour. Because in the end, it is unmistakable that the reality of it all is the dream. And that dream really is nothing more than a collective state of mind. Materialism exists, no doubt; but the road to the dream lies in the mind, nothing more; definitely nothing less.

People are always dreaming because they can't find their invisible bridges to make them a reality.

I say let's start building them now.

Reorganizing Priorities

It's really quite fascinating how much one's life revolves around computers, and even more fascinating what a lack of internet connection can do to someone. By someone I mean me. Ever since the laptop suddenly called it quits last Thursday; I've been whining on and on about it, not necessarily as much as I had hoped for; but what surprised me the most was my ignorance on the night of the disaster, and the events (sorry, emotions) that preceded thereafter the very next day. It's odd that I would have been so accepting of the event when the laptop just didn't want to boot, sure there were things that went through my head like "how am I going to do my summaries now?" or "how am I going to complete my video assignment?", and although the solution is clear: that I use the computer outside, it was the start of something that I had not expected; something I'd like to call the privacy barrier, or lack thereof. I had not noticed as much before, but my laptop was all I had as my internet gateway. It was my private connection with my online persona, and it had gone. It's interesting how one can suddenly feel a void, a gaping hole in one's timetable; an amount of time suddenly freed that just left me lost. It's not as serious as I make it seem, but as usual, I like the drama of it all. The point is, it's really the reason a personal computer is called personal is that it does get personal. At the beginning, I felt that this was a good opportunity to not go crazy, but actually live life like everyone else; and to spend more time on social activities instead of wondering how well vista would suit the big picture. So it seemed. I ended up reverting to my old habits (they die hard, with a vengeance) and not only did I feel that it wasn't private anymore, it wasn't comfortable at all. In a way it has opened my eyes to new horizons on psychoanalyzing myself in understanding the cause and effect of the sudden loss of personal, or private space. The guinea pig being myself, it was easy to see that I obviously did the human thing and started colonizing the computer outside, the very one I'm typing on. It started with simple personalization and moved on to settings and ultimately getting comfortable with the UI. This is where the problem begins. I am not the only user on this system, and this leads to security issues, being the very insecure paranoid user that I am. Either way, it's been a good three days on this computer, and even though I am getting more comfortable with it; it still seems all the rather public. I suppose it's all a sort of training and good realization that things can just escape us without warning, and it is not how fast we adapt that makes or breaks us, but how often.